Haikus (almost) every day of January 2025

Today my heart hurts 

Failures my own and others 

Now I will stay down 

I am overwhelmed. 

Angry. Enraged. Broken. Lost

Even to myself

I will write haikus

It’s my latest OCD

A quest for freedom

I am not ready 

To die, I think, although this

Life is unfriendly

I’m disqualified

From goodness. A woman. I

Am poor, sick, worthless

A mother alone

Is someone we cannot love

An impoverished scourge

Even my thoughts are

Wrong. I think wrong. I fail. 

So how will I die

Didn’t I know this

The world wants one thing from me

Always its my death

How dare I to think

My destiny wasn’t this?

It was always so

My house is not clean

It's safe, warm, welcoming

Come in, have some tea

Darkness has lifted 

By three minutes in the sky 

Degrees in my heart 

She used to be pretty 

Because hope is pretty 

Joy enchanting, even someone else’s. 

The haggard woman 

Was once beautiful 

Thru hope, trust, and joy 

I don’t want to push 

My body is too tired 

And I am angry 

Story books, play dough 

Craft kits, snow boots, playground clothes 

Dance class, playdates, love 

Brisk winds are blowing 

I don’t feel safe here. This home 

Will never be mine

I’m multitasking 

Depression with childcare 

Trying to stay here 

What I did well today : no yelling. Asked Tess to do some things herself. 

What I did poorly. I need to be a better listener 

I stared at the page 

Blank. Still empty. 

I cannot tonight 

Tried and driving 

Taking kids to gymnastics 

Wishing I could sleep 

Pain 

Migraine 

Returning. Listening 

Waiting for the pain inside 

To speak with the truth 

I did well today. 

Sick kid tissues tea 

Humidifier  advil 

Snotty sleepless nights 

Love this messy house 

And all the beings who live 

Within her sad walls 

Clear morning darkness

Peaceful time with my daughter 

Broken by email